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[Ellie isn't sure what kind of reaction she was expecting. This is good enough, though, and she rubs her sleeved arm. Apology accepted.]

What?

How long've you been beating yourself up over this? [A pause. She doesn't know if there's an easy way around this, doesn't think there is one in the first place.] Not just me- the others.

[You can't tell her that there aren't.]

[She looks alarmed for a brief moment. Was it that obvious, or did Joel tell her? Joel knows about Sam, of course, but she hasn't told a soul about Rylie. Maybe Tess is just making an educated guess.]

He never wanted to talk about you. He told me not to bring you up, ever.

[So her apologies to him were always brushed off, short. Joel didn't talk about the things that hurt. Sarah, Tess, Sam, Henry. They didn't talk about them at all, so Ellie was left to deal on her own.]

[Tess isn't sure how much of avoiding the question came from Ellie herself, or from being with Joel. Keeping the next breath she takes in short, calm, she takes a step closer, doesn't reach out but she makes eye contact if the other will let her.

Quieter this time.] Ellie. How long?

[Joel isn't always the best of influences. Case in point: Ellie grunts, rubbing her forehead.]

Like, forever? I don't know.

[Looking at her lap is better than looking at Tess.]

[Maybe he isn't, but beggars aren't choosers. Making her way over, she takes a seat beside Ellie, reaches an arm out. Once she's sure the other isn't gonna shrug her away, she gets it around Ellie's shoulders, tugs her in for a hug.

It can't make up for how long she's had to deal with it on her own, but here... Here is different.]

You never talked about it? [Oh, Ellie.]

[Hugs from Tess are a little jarring, but Ellie's become a sucker for contact like this. She gets her arms around her middle and squeezes tightly, maybe a little desperately. She's dead. This would never happen at home.]

I haven't exactly been around a lot of people that encourage that sort of talking.

[There's been Stephanie, lately, but Ellie doesn't like dumping her issues on people who already have their own.]

[Contact's been a little easier here - sort of. But for Ellie, she'll try even if it's surreal to have the other get at her like that. Never would have expected that out of the girl who nearly went at Joel with a knife the first time they met.

(there's a lot of things she didn't expect.)

Laughing isn't an option at how true the statement is, because it's fucking terrible to realize that it is, so she turns to face her for a more proper hug, other arm up to make it so.] Point.

Still, you shouldn't have to hold it all, it isn't fair to you.

I get it, though. [You have to move on, at least on the surface. She can't blame Joel for not wanting to let himself be vulnerable. She's seen him like that, and it's scary.]

And I guess this is me not holding it all.

[She shouldn't have to get it - but hell, here it's supposed to be 'normal'. .... About as normal as someone can say, with magic and dwarves and... whatever the hell else is here. Giving a squeeze, Tess lifts a hand, musses a little with Ellie's hair.]

That mean you're getting used to these hugs, or are we gonna have to do this a few more times?

I don't have any complaints if you don't.

[She smiles, a little. She never got the impression that Tess hated her for what happened, or hated her for not yet being the cure the world needed. But this is nice, and Ellie likes the feeling of leaning against someone. For a moment, some of the weight is lifted.]

Now why do you think I'm asking? [A snort as she jostles Ellie a little to tease, the squeeze she gives afterward meant to be more comforting than anything. Ellie shouldn't have to bear any of this alone, not at her age, not ever. (Neither should Joel, but. That's another can of worms.)]

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