justgo | IC CONTACT.

Uhh... since I woke up?

[Someone might have a sprained ankle from all the excitement earlier, which means a certain someone else has been grouchier than usual about taking it easy.]

How's your day been?

Good enough. [Just setting her bag down nearby before going to join Ellie on her side of the place.] Better you don't irritate it.

Things haven't been too bad. Just grabbed some supplies is all. Something up?

[Right to the point, Tess. Thanks for raining on all that small talk Ellie had planned.]

Uh. I just... I wanted to talk, is all.

[She's getting to it. This isn't easy to bring up.]

[The weather's been the same as it's always been, Ellie. They're kinda on the moon.]

Talk? [She hopes this is about a boy. ... No, no she doesn't.] All right, what kinda talk?

[Oh, fuck it. Ellie scrubs her hands over her face. She's not sure why she's doing this--except she is, because the more and more she sees Joel and Tess together, happy, the more and more the guilt gnaws away at her.]

I'm sorry, Tess. For what happened at home. The museum, and the capitol--that was all because of me.

[That's unexpected. (not really.) Lips twisting in a frown once Ellie starts, Tess lifts her hands to try and catch the apology and slow the younger girl down.]

Whoa, now. Where's this comin' from?

[The lack of acknowledgement is a stab in the ribs, but Ellie shakes her head. She doesn't know why she's saying it now.]

You guys are happy. [As happy as the given situation allows, at least.] I fucked that up. If Marlene hadn't asked for you guys to smuggle me out of Boston, you'd--

[Be going on as usual. Ellie had been glad it was Joel and Tess hired to take her. They knew their shit. But that was before she knew the price of it all.]

So I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

[Brows furrowed at this point, she listens enough for Ellie to finish, but she doesn't look all too happy about it. Shoulders slumping, Tess drops her hands to her sides, gets one on a hip. It's weird, isn't it?

She would have thought they were past this by now. For a moment, she doesn't say anything and then when she looks up, there's a long sigh. ] All right, apology accepted.

Now you gotta answer something for me.

[Ellie isn't sure what kind of reaction she was expecting. This is good enough, though, and she rubs her sleeved arm. Apology accepted.]

What?

How long've you been beating yourself up over this? [A pause. She doesn't know if there's an easy way around this, doesn't think there is one in the first place.] Not just me- the others.

[You can't tell her that there aren't.]

[She looks alarmed for a brief moment. Was it that obvious, or did Joel tell her? Joel knows about Sam, of course, but she hasn't told a soul about Rylie. Maybe Tess is just making an educated guess.]

He never wanted to talk about you. He told me not to bring you up, ever.

[So her apologies to him were always brushed off, short. Joel didn't talk about the things that hurt. Sarah, Tess, Sam, Henry. They didn't talk about them at all, so Ellie was left to deal on her own.]

[Tess isn't sure how much of avoiding the question came from Ellie herself, or from being with Joel. Keeping the next breath she takes in short, calm, she takes a step closer, doesn't reach out but she makes eye contact if the other will let her.

Quieter this time.] Ellie. How long?

[Joel isn't always the best of influences. Case in point: Ellie grunts, rubbing her forehead.]

Like, forever? I don't know.

[Looking at her lap is better than looking at Tess.]

[Maybe he isn't, but beggars aren't choosers. Making her way over, she takes a seat beside Ellie, reaches an arm out. Once she's sure the other isn't gonna shrug her away, she gets it around Ellie's shoulders, tugs her in for a hug.

It can't make up for how long she's had to deal with it on her own, but here... Here is different.]

You never talked about it? [Oh, Ellie.]

[Hugs from Tess are a little jarring, but Ellie's become a sucker for contact like this. She gets her arms around her middle and squeezes tightly, maybe a little desperately. She's dead. This would never happen at home.]

I haven't exactly been around a lot of people that encourage that sort of talking.

[There's been Stephanie, lately, but Ellie doesn't like dumping her issues on people who already have their own.]

[Contact's been a little easier here - sort of. But for Ellie, she'll try even if it's surreal to have the other get at her like that. Never would have expected that out of the girl who nearly went at Joel with a knife the first time they met.

(there's a lot of things she didn't expect.)

Laughing isn't an option at how true the statement is, because it's fucking terrible to realize that it is, so she turns to face her for a more proper hug, other arm up to make it so.] Point.

Still, you shouldn't have to hold it all, it isn't fair to you.

I get it, though. [You have to move on, at least on the surface. She can't blame Joel for not wanting to let himself be vulnerable. She's seen him like that, and it's scary.]

And I guess this is me not holding it all.

[She shouldn't have to get it - but hell, here it's supposed to be 'normal'. .... About as normal as someone can say, with magic and dwarves and... whatever the hell else is here. Giving a squeeze, Tess lifts a hand, musses a little with Ellie's hair.]

That mean you're getting used to these hugs, or are we gonna have to do this a few more times?

I don't have any complaints if you don't.

[She smiles, a little. She never got the impression that Tess hated her for what happened, or hated her for not yet being the cure the world needed. But this is nice, and Ellie likes the feeling of leaning against someone. For a moment, some of the weight is lifted.]

Now why do you think I'm asking? [A snort as she jostles Ellie a little to tease, the squeeze she gives afterward meant to be more comforting than anything. Ellie shouldn't have to bear any of this alone, not at her age, not ever. (Neither should Joel, but. That's another can of worms.)]

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